It’s amazing how one’s life constantly change over the years. Passions, priorities, people - they all change as years walk by. If you look back, you would realize that at different points in time, different things meant so much to you. Wonder, if life could have been recorded, not just in photographs or videos but in some way where images can be preserved together with feelings, emotions, promises, aspirations and dreams of those moments. And on one of those lazy Saturday mornings when you have nothing better to do, how about playing back your life with a cup of coffee in your hand.

When I look back, what hits me is the force of emotions during the times gone by. How engrossed we were about getting that one thing in that one moment, as if life almost hinged upon it. It always felt like a ‘make or break’ then though now come to think of it – neither when we got what we wanted it turned life into a fairytale nor life turned into a miserable melancholy when we failed to get what we desired. It’s just that this wisdom always dawns when we can free ourselves from the emotional intensity of those moments.

“Intensity”, yeah that’s the word. It’s the intensity with which we throw ourselves in a moment that makes it so difficult for us to gather ourselves when those times have passed. But then, it’s just not about pulling oneself from losses but also staying sober through success. Because so often what shatters people is not just the failure to get what one yearned for but also the realization that life has not really changed much even after getting what you sought so much. But indifference & disenchantment are no solutions, intensity is a must, it drives you, it keeps you afloat and it brings lot of joy and so what if it makes it difficult too, it’s all part of the experience called ‘Life’.

Another thing I find interesting is how demanding we are of life. So often we are just like that kid, who would throw tantrums to get that toy which caught his fancy a few days back. But the day he gets it, that’s it, he might play with it for a day or two but it's just a matter of time till he finds that other toy which he now wants just as badly as he wanted the earlier one. Just like this kid, all of us always have something on top of our wish-list which we want out of life. At every step we tell ourselves – this is all I want but the moment we get it – that’s it. Soon, we want something else – and now that’s all we want. And somewhere in that process, if we don’t get something - well, life would always hear from us – look you didn’t give me that or else I wouldn’t have wanted this.

But I guess am drifting, what was in my mind when I started writing is how much life changes with time. How as a kid I had absolutely different dreams about my life ahead, as a teen it changed and then over the years I kept churning and changing the dreams of my future. Today I have different expectations from life – ones I feel are almost critical for my future happiness but probably few years down the line I might realize that all of them were inconsequential to how life turned out for me. Probably, today I have got much more from life than what I might have had, if life would have strictly given me only what I asked her for. So in a way it's good that life charts its own path, different from the one I want it to. Sometimes, one may get overawed by the change and may feel that his life has lost its way but probably all life is doing is putting you on a hidden trail of happiness, which you couldn't have discovered on your own.