He got up in the morning and that feeling of emptiness was there again. This feeling has lingered on for a while now. He had hoped once he gets used to his decision, this feeling would just disappear but that was not to be. He so much wished at that moment that he hadn’t made this decision but then he knew he doesn’t even want to reverse it. All he wanted to escape from was this feeling that life is about to change too much, too quickly. There was this nagging fear of things drifting away, of something precious being lost forever. And on top of it, he knew the day when all this is going to hit him hard. He wanted to postpone it but with every morning he was actually getting near it.
He didn’t want to get out of bed, he looked at the table clock and he still had few minutes. He wanted to hold that ticking hand of the clock and stop it. He started thinking of his schedule for the day to distract himself but soon he again found himself thinking of the same thing. So often, few things become so central to our lives that whatever we do, it all leads us to that.
But then this was his own decision. Yeah, others did play a part in making him sit down to decide but when he made the decision – it was entirely his – no influence, no coercion, no pressure. But he still wanted to blame everyone who questioned him. After all, had they not questioned him – he would have never felt the need to seek the answer. His thoughts wandered to those joyous mornings few summers back, when there was no fear, no anxiety - when it was all so serene and peaceful.
And then his phone rang, he picked up the phone and heard the voice of his sweet little girl, “ Hey Dad, How are you? When are you coming home?” He talked to her for several minutes till the alarm clock reminded him that he needs to get off the bed now.
And so he did but the incessant chatter of his daughter has filled in all the emptiness within him with loads of joy. He was no more scared of losing anything. Calm and peace has returned. And so has the promise – promise of a new life which he was actually looking forward to.He was now ready to turn the page of his life, but before that he needed to finish this one.
And so he got up to get ready, he picked up the newspaper and saw his face on the front page again. A bold headline next to the photograph read – “Adam Gilchrist retires tomorrow”
He didn’t want to get out of bed, he looked at the table clock and he still had few minutes. He wanted to hold that ticking hand of the clock and stop it. He started thinking of his schedule for the day to distract himself but soon he again found himself thinking of the same thing. So often, few things become so central to our lives that whatever we do, it all leads us to that.
But then this was his own decision. Yeah, others did play a part in making him sit down to decide but when he made the decision – it was entirely his – no influence, no coercion, no pressure. But he still wanted to blame everyone who questioned him. After all, had they not questioned him – he would have never felt the need to seek the answer. His thoughts wandered to those joyous mornings few summers back, when there was no fear, no anxiety - when it was all so serene and peaceful.
And then his phone rang, he picked up the phone and heard the voice of his sweet little girl, “ Hey Dad, How are you? When are you coming home?” He talked to her for several minutes till the alarm clock reminded him that he needs to get off the bed now.
And so he did but the incessant chatter of his daughter has filled in all the emptiness within him with loads of joy. He was no more scared of losing anything. Calm and peace has returned. And so has the promise – promise of a new life which he was actually looking forward to.He was now ready to turn the page of his life, but before that he needed to finish this one.
And so he got up to get ready, he picked up the newspaper and saw his face on the front page again. A bold headline next to the photograph read – “Adam Gilchrist retires tomorrow”
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