This post started as a comment in response to Navya’s comment to my last post. But once it assumed its current length I decided to put it as a separate post. So, ideally this one should be read in conjunction with the last para of my previous post & Navya’s comment on that.


So let me start by presenting you a scenario.

Let’s assume there is this very difficult but extremely prestigious exam on Nuclear Physics that people from world over take. Among the numerous participants, there is one 42 year old eminent Nuclear Scientist & a 14-year old class Xth kid. Now when the results, come in our kid or whiz kid (whatever you wanna call him) scores 97 out of 100..Amazing…people stand up to take note, a 14 year old scoring 97 in such a difficult exam. He was hailed everywhere, got standing ovation wherever he went, was interviewed by media as if they have no one else to interview etc. etc. No denying that for a 14 year old to achieve what he did deserves all accolades that he got. But our eminent scientist let’s just call him Mr. K (scientists like such names) scored 98 which was highest among all participants. For a 42 year old nuclear scientist to score highest in a nuclear physics exam is commendable but no miracle.

Now entire public, media and our whizkid himself is demanding that he is declared the topper of this exam notwithstanding that Mr. K scored higher marks. Almost everyone is saying that kid is pure genius (which is something I am not denying) and so he deserves this honour but my problem is he is still the second best in absolute terms. May be if we revise the merit list on Score/Age basis, he would top it but on absolute score basis, Mr. K deserves the honour of topping this exam.

Case of this TZP kid – Darsheel – is same – he may have done great for his age and therefore deserve a special jury/critics award but not the best actor one. That should go to the guy who acted best irrespective of whether he has done 150 movies before or if he is 42, 52, 62. Now, limited question is, are you seeing him as a kid who acted exceedingly well or an actor who acted well. And when I look at him from latter point of view, I don’t see him as the best MAN. But then that’s merely my two Singapore cents.

Personally, I also believe that people are getting swayed by superb emotional appeal that TZP holds and therefore over-rating the kid’s effort (which doesn’t mean that I don’t think he is excellent but just that I don’t think he is something humanity has never seen before) but then that’s an extremely personal view which I won’t even like to present as an argument.

And finally to all Darsheel supporters – IQ comment in my last post was extremely light hearted, just in keeping with the tone of the post and it was not meant to disparage the intellect of any terrestrial or extra-terrestrial being (or for that matter, artificial intelligence of any super-computer even). And I hope no one took any offence to it, if you did my heartfelt apologies.

321 years back an apple fell and Newton discovered gravity. Today, it was turn of sensex to take a fall and for Indian investor to discover gravity. And what a costly way to discover that – 6.6 lakh crore is what it cost M-cap of India Inc. to discover that whatever goes up comes down. Hopefully, that would drive some SENSE in sensex.

Btw, if you heard me say 6.6 lakh crore, i.e. because I am sitting in Singapore 6 hours away from India. Am pretty sure, had you asked someone in India, they would have said we lost 6.6 crore “Nanos” today. Yups am talking about Tata Nano - supposedly the best thing to have happened to India since Sachin Tendulkar. And, I must say am in no mood to contest that. People might tell you that this would make Indian roads more congested, air more polluted and neighbourhoods more cluttered (where is the parking space anyways?). But I am willing to dismiss that as an elitist view, because I don’t think anyone who made such comments takes a bus to office or cycles his way through. To me, Tata Nano is yet another step towards empowerment of Great Indian Middle Class. And, given huge petrol/diesel subsidies by Govt. of India, for once government is literally fuelling the aspirations of Indian public.

And that reminds me, if you are a foreigner, have recently found yourself in India and wondering why no tourist or business brochure ever told you that most important city in India is Perth. Stay calm, don’t waste your dollars or euros in buying latest map of India, because Google is right when it tells you that only known ‘Perth’ on face of earth is in Western Australia. India has just won a cricket test match there and that’s all. It’s amazing, how we as a nation starved for sporting success goes overboard with any little piece of success that comes our way. We flaunt it so much that it becomes embarrassing at times. But then for all the dollars we pump in global cricket circus, there is something to show at least.

But there ain’t a circus more amusing than Politics and politics can’t get stranger anywhere but in subcontinent. After all where else would you find seasoned politicians asking a 19 year old to run a country? That’s right - Mr. Bilal Zardari/Bhutto must be the most important teenager after Harry Potter in current times, after all he is prime minister elect for running the most unstable democratic government in world. Sounds similar to calls for Priyanka and Rahul Gandhi to take up prime-ministership in aftermath of Rajiv Gandhi’s assassination. Wonder when would people in this part of world will get out of feudal age mentality and graduate to democracy in true sense of the word.

And finally, now that we have discussed, cricket, politics, business and sensex, fitting closure to this post would be a mention of Bollywood. And in current times, when one’s EQ (Emotional Quotient) is being measured by asking if he/she cried while watching Taare Zameen Par or not, how could I discuss something else. I must say that the movie is top rate, kid has really done exceedingly well and Aamir Khan has created one of the finest cinematic moments in form of the song “Maa…”. But “best actor award for the child” …well, where’s your IQ buddy?

Wish this didn’t happen - wish that happened differently - wish I could do it again.
But fortunately or unfortunately none such wishes are ever granted because Time is a one way street. There are no U-turns, There ain’t any going back. If you didn’t refill fuel of joy at the last gas station, you just will have to wait for the next. If you let go of any moments, they are lost forever – not to be regained, not to be rediscovered. You can find similar moments further ahead in your life but the ones you wasted, are gone for good.

We keep waiting for things to happen the way we want them to happen and during that wait we turn a blind eye to moments that are waiting to be embraced and enjoyed. As time ticks by, we grow impatient and then we pick the hammer made of our perceptions and start striking those moments hard, hoping we would succeed in moulding them the way we want to see them. While a few of us succeed, but far more of us only succeed in disfiguring and destroying the moments. And soon, we are just left with battered moments all around us.

And then you wish you had done things differently. You had smilingly hugged those moments as they were rather than ignoring them for ones which were never to be. You wish you had held those moments tight rather than letting them go, hoping they would return. But when has time ever come back? When it drifts - it just keeps going further and further away.

And therefore, may be key is to not try and wait for time to change but to step up and change the way you look at time. Key is not to sit and say that’s how I wanted my moments to be but to start enjoying the moments as they are. And may be in the process they may just lead you to the times which you were wishing for.

com·mu·nal·ism
\-nə-ˌli-zəm\
Noun: loyalty to a sociopolitical grouping based on religious or ethnic affiliation

That’s right out of Webster.
And reason why I needed to look up Webster for the most commonly used word in Indian politics today is because am fast realizing that this could possibly be the most misunderstood word in politics as well.

So, Mr. Narendra Modi won Gujarat elections yesterday for his third consecutive term. I remember five years back when he had won a similar majority I was extremely distraught. Afterall, how could someone who ought to be tried for letting rioters go berserk in aftermath of Godhra can be head of a government. And inspite of my greatest regard for Atal Bihari Vajpayee, one reason why I supported Congress in last elections was because I was convinced that BJP needs to be punished for what it allowed to happen in Gujarat.

But yesterday, as I streamed webcast of CNN-IBN to follow Gujarat election results, I was hoping Modi would win. And for simple reason that I have begun to realize that Congress’s brand of communalism will hurt this country more in a long run. I must clarify that I still blame Narendra Modi for Gujarat riots and I have little respect for him given his outright cheap and demeaning political speeches in last election.

But as I said before only reason why I wanted Modi to win, was because I wanted Congress to lose. Same Congress that I supported in last elections, which in hindsight was a mistake. Why? Let’s just sample few of the great steps being considered by this government to figure out why:

1. Muslim policemen in Muslim dominated areas
2. Preference for Muslims in Indian Army
3. Higher UGC grants for colleges with more Muslims
4. Directive to banks to include lending to Muslims under priority sector banking
5. More Muslims on government job interview panels so that more Muslims get selected

So if you just mistook Muslim for a synonym for Indian, you ain’t the only one out there to make that mistake. Apparently, Government of sovereign, socialist, secular, democratic republic of India led by Mr. Muslimmohan Singh err Manmohan Singh seems to have similar misunderstanding.

Now, just in case anyone here thinks that I have turned Hindu nationalist. Hold on.
I HATE COMMUNALISM.
And I hate communalism in its all forms. And you can refer the definition of communalism at the beginning of this post because communalism means religious bias and not just Hindu bias as Indian politicians seem to believe. So, while there is no denying that BJP has communal shades all over, but is Congress any different? BJP at least kept Army out of its communal agenda. And so, when on TV you hear a congressman call Narendra Modi communal, you just can’t help liking it to pot calling the kettle black.

We the people of India are today faced with a choice between devil and deep blue sea. Either we can side with a Communal BJP or a Communal Congress. Either we can vote for Gujarat rioters or Sikh rioters. Either we can elect a government which would thing twice before hanging Dara Singh or a government which would think thrice about hanging Mohammed Afzal. But the real tragedy is that while one of them would always win, we will always lose. We may help one of them to get elected but in the end we will be the ones who’ll end up being sorry for making that choice. Just as I today rue supporting Congress in 2004, I might be sitting and sulking few years down the line for supporting BJP in 2009.
And that’s why I say Frustration thy name is Indian Politics.

He again woke up in the middle of night. He figured it must be around 3 in the morning. At first when he started getting up in night, he used to keep his watch close by to see the time. Now he just has to look out of the window. One of many lessons time taught him that he never thought himself capable of learning.

It was another dark night, clouds held rein over the night sky but thankfully it was not raining. He absolutely detested that sound of rain lashing against the window pane during the nights. Initially, when he used to wake up to find rain beating hard against the window, he used to feel like screaming at the top of his voice to silence that rain. Now, he just prays for a rainless night before going to bed. But not so long ago, he loved the sound and sight of rain.

He poured himself some water from the jug and started sipping it slowly. He was not thirsty but this is one of those routines that he had invented to spend these almost unending hours. At first, he got himself some books to keep company but then he realized that eyes that can’t sleep through the night can also not read through the night. He stayed awake for three consecutive nights without turning a page and then he realized that sipping a glass of water in dark is a better bet against the night than making oneself conspicuous in the light of table lamp. Now all his books sit in the shelf opposite to his bed, reminding him of days when life was still about hope, ambition and dreams.

And life indeed was good to him till not so long ago. But then he played and lost the most important gamble of his life. Fate conspired with his dreams to make him give up all he ever owned in pursuit of one thing which he can never own. And he fell for it. He staked his entire self to win something which he then realized could never be his to keep. And so at the end of it, all he was left with was a sense of betrayal and bitterness. His dreams betrayed him, his fate embittered him. And they took away everything - his sound sleep, his enthusiasm for life, his little joys and mobility of his lower body.

As his half-paralysed body lay on that hospital bed waiting for dawn to arrive, he suddenly heard the sound of raindrops hitting the window. Another of his prayer went unanswered...

Last Friday, this blog turned 1.

And as I look back, it has been an eventful year. Over the course of this year, a lot changed and still a lot remained the same. I went through times which took turns being joyous, sad, anxious, calm, desperate, exciting, frustrating and boring but this blog stayed with me through all that.

I weaved stories, analysed politics, reviewed movies, mulled over the past, dissected nothings and acted wise ;-) But through all this, what kept bringing me back here was that I could be myself here. I could weave fantasies, create characters, voice my frustration, criticize what I disliked and yearn for what I wanted.

And hopefully this is one thing that would not change with turn of calendar.

Other day I was finding my way through a shopping mall and as I looked down I found a really old couple going down the escalators. They must be really old, I guess both of them must be somewhere in mid-70s. Must have been married for around 40-50 years or so. And just when I was about to take my eyes off them, I saw uncle getting off the escalator and holding out his hand for the auntie. She took his hand and came off the escalator, she held a walking stick and was walking very slowly but uncle not for a moment walked ahead of her. It was visible even to my untrained eyes that he is taking those little steps just to walk together with her. I was really distant to notice any facial expressions, but I guess there wouldn’t have been any – there was no need for them. All that was there was - a silent understanding, an unstated awareness of each other’s need and trust developed over so many years that one would be there when other will need him/her.

It was just a little incident, but it was beautiful and left me with a smile that was happy for someone I may never see again :)

Do you know why Will Smith titled his movie – Pursuit of Happyness?
That’s because God had copy rights on the phrase “Pursuit of Happiness”. Yeah, that’s what He calls life up there.

And isn’t it what life is all about – Pursuit of Happiness. Just in case you think, key word there is Happiness – gotcha – you are wrong. Key word there is “Pursuit”. A pursuit that gets defeated by shortness of life. I suggest that next time they find a star really distant from earth – they should name it ‘Happiness’. Just think about the headline in newspaper next day :
Happiness discovered five million light years away from Earth
Apt. Isn’t it? Even if man can travel at speed of light, longest one has ever lived is 110-120 years, so no would ever get to even reach closer to Happiness. [- the star]

Did any of you used to see those mythological serials on Doordashan long back – they used to show Gods talking and whenever they wanted to punish someone they would pack him to earth. I used to think of it as a pretty easy deal on the culprit ;-) Guess, now I have discovered my Godliness ;-), now I can make perfect sense why anyone would do that. Probably, earth is actually a prison for souls that did something wrong on some planet beta and so they were given a jail uniform (read human body) and sent to this prison, where they get to do jail hours (read work) to earn their living and serve their time (read life) till they can go back again to planet beta ;-)

Now am sure you would have seen those smiling faces and must have heard those ringing laughter – don’t be fooled. It was joy, not happiness. Yeah, life does have enough joy to offer – that’s God’s way of making it up to us. So He packs the joy in small boxes and drops it from up there for us to catch. Remind me again of DD – news this time – that footage of army men dropping food packets from air force planes in flooded areas. That’s how life is - flooded with unhappiness – but for humanitarian reasons – God keeps dropping us those packets of joy – few of us catch them, thank God for that and rest of us wonder what’s there in that packet. We look at that smile and mistook it to be happiness, but its just joy my dear friends. Joy which will not last anyone for ever, coz it’s just instantaneous & ephemeral.

I wonder, why God even gave hope to humans that they can be happy – its sheer cruelty – I mean, just plain tell them, you gonna be a wretched lot down there. One learns to live with his lot. But nopes He chose to be sheer mean and cruel. And for His sadistic pleasure He invented ‘hope’, so that He can look at people living in a constant hope that they can be happy, things can be better. And poor us, we cling on to hope and keep up the ‘pursuit’.

I remember that tale about Lord Buddha, where he had asked a woman whose young child has died, that go get a bowl of rice from a home where no one has ever died and then He would bring her son back to life. Similarly, today I wanna play God, so just show me a man who has been truly happy in his life and I will put you in a constant state of bliss as well !!!

And so he stood again in the battlefield of Kurushektra with a feeling of déjà vu. It felt exactly the same. Same as it was a day before. No one else remembered it but him. Only he knew that what is going to start in few minutes has played out earlier also.

And he also remembered how it has ended. Abhimanyu was standing again in Kurushektra just a day after he got killed by Jaydrath. Army of Kauravas had the same Chakravyuh formation. He was still the only one who knew how to get into this chakravyuh, he still didn’t know how to get out of it. But this time only thing that has changed was that now he was aware that last time he got himself killed battling his way out of that Chakravyuh.

It was not supposed to be like this. Battle of Mahabharata was to proceed without him. He had played out his part and he was no more to be part of this. But he wanted another shot. Life rarely gives another shot but he insisted. As he stood before God in Heaven, he asked Him to let him live that last day of his life once again. He wanted to get it right this time. He wanted to beat Kauravas, he wanted to be the victor and so as he insisted, God relented. And so Abhimanyu got another chance.

He had thought that this time he wont make the mistakes he made earlier, he would be more cautious now, he would benefit from his knowledge of past. But suddenly as he stood in his chariot moments before conch was to announce beginning of day’s battle, he realized none of that was to happen. He didn’t even know if he made any mistake last time – he hardly did, he was also as cautious as he could be and knowledge of past was hardly an asset as it only reminded him that his best was not enough last time, that no matter how hard he tried he still couldn’t figure a way out of chakravyuh. And he suddenly realized that there is nothing that could go any different this time. If he chose to enter the chakravyuh, he would not get out. And then he remembered face of God as He agreed to let him go and live that last day again. He had just smiled, just as you let the kid has his way knowing fully well that he still can’t change anything.

He suddenly realized how naïve he was to think that he could change the course of life, that he could challenge the fate and come out winners, that just because has lost once before –he would win this time.

And then he heard the conch, and he made his way to chakravyuh. Knowing fully well how it could end but hoping it would end some other way. But when have hopes ever got better of fate? It all played out just as it did a day before. Jaydrath killed Abhimanyu again. Fate & life conspired to get their way once more.

Living on foreign shores, away from hustle and bustle of India, one thing that I have realized is that those festivals which used to announce themselves months in advance back home, slip by quietly like strangers here.

I remember that as I kid I grew up with, dusshera, lohri, rakhi, janmashtmi, basant panchmi etc. and navratri & ganesh chaturthi joined in during later years. And Holi & Diwali the Big 2 were always there. But somehow over years, I kept losing touch with them one by one, and am more or less left with only Holi & Diwali now.

And though I don't know why, but Diwali was always been my favourite festival. As a kid, initially it were the firecrackers which used to be the major draw but as I grew up and gave up on patakhas, Diwali's place in my list of favourites saw no change. Rather I only got further enamoured by Diwali; sight of diyas lighting up the night held me spellbounded every year without fail. Frankly, if I have a choice I would do away with all the electric lighting and just put Diyas everywhere on Diwali night. They are so beautiful and so surreal. Reminiscent of old world beauty and elegance.

I know I gonna miss all that this Diwali. May be I won't have any diyas that day, even if I find few for my house I know I can't walk out and find every house lit up, doors open, children running around, people all dressed up and smiles just having a field day on everyone's face.

But I just hope everyone back home in India will have lots of such sights.

And as for me, if i switch off all the lights and light up a lot of diyas - it would make a decent sight, rite ;-)

HAPPY DIWALI to one and all :)

शुभ दीपावली !!!